How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack (And Live to Blog About it)


T.Miller2I can still remember my first gnome. His name was Bogart and we brought him home to scare away the rabbits. He wore an orange, oversized coat with a big belt buckle, a red stocking cap and pointy shoes. While we never thought of him as more than a companion, it occurs to me now that Bogart, from his little hill next to the pepper plants, could see everything happening in the house, all the while plotting. While his disappearance never gave me much pause, I realize now, after having read How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by Chuck Sambuchino, that it’s probably too late for me.

But there’s still time for you.

Garden Gnome Attack  How To Survive a Garden Gnome Attack 
Buy How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack (Random House, 2010). 

With beautiful photos and easy-to-read tips, this 106-page book is the “comprehensive survival guide that will help you 1.) prevent, 2.) prepare for and 3.) ward off imminent home invasion.”

In this hard-bound guide, you will learn to assess your risk for attack and to protect your home and yourself from these calculating creatures. Not to give too much away, but when choosing your weapon for war, Chuck says it's wise to stay away from mace and firearms, in favor of more formidable weapons, like hockey sticks and furniture.

All this sound bizarre? Well, really, it kind of is. But the satirical prose of the book, which takes itself seriously, is what makes it hysterical. And when coupled with Andrew Parson’s amazing photography, you really can’t help but to love it. OK, gotta run. My cat just hissed at something that scurried behind the blinds ... this can't be good.

Subscribe Today - Pay Now & Save 64% Off the Cover Price

Get the latest on Natural Health and Sustainable Living with Mother Earth News!

Mother Earth News

Your friends at Mother Earth Living are committed to natural health and sustainable living. Unfortunately, the financial impact of COVID-19 has challenged us to find a more economical way to achieve this mission. We welcome you to our sister publication Mother Earth News. What you sought in the pages of Mother Earth Living can be found in Mother Earth News. For over 50 years, “The Original Guide to Living Wisely” has focused on organic gardening, herbal medicine, real food recipes, and sustainability. We look forward to going on this new journey with you and providing solutions for better health and self-sufficiency.

The impact of this crisis has no doubt affected every aspect of our daily lives. We will strive to be a useful and inspiring resource during this critical time and for years to come.

Best wishes,
Your friends at Mother Earth Living and Mother Earth News

Save Money & a Few Trees!

By paying with a credit card, you save an additional $5 and get 6 issues of Mother Earth News for only $12.95 (USA only).

You may also use the Bill Me option and pay $17.95 for 6 issues.

Canadian Subscribers - Click Here
International Subscribers - Click Here
Canadian subscriptions: 1 year (includes postage & GST).

Facebook Pinterest Instagram YouTube Twitter