Pets and Children

Image Gallery ""You and me against the world, buddy""

PET CONCERNS

I can't imagine childhood without a pet, whether it's gerbil, goldfish or kitten. As a boy, I took in strays and lovingly cared for them, and I vividly remember the setters and terriers and sheep dogs who were my playmates and friends. A dog, sometimes more than parents or peers, can give a child that deep sense of companionship and unconditional love that we all occasionally need in our lives.

Child psychologists have recently demonstrated the effectiveness of using pets as therapy for withdrawn and emotionally disturbed children. In a comparable way, a pet can play a vital role in the life of an average child. Every youngster sometimes feels unloved or insecure — and a pet is always accepting, is generally consistent in its behavior and can give a child a sense of relating and belonging.

In return, it's important for a child to understand a pet's body language, emotions and needs, to see it as less of a play object and more of a companion-animal, with its own rights and values. I believe that the child who is allowed to treat an animal like a toy, something to be discarded for another with more promise (or less work), will learn to have exploitative, superficial relationships with people, too. By truly caring for a pet, a child develops a sense of responsibility that carries into all social relationships, even marriage and parenthood.

But before getting a pet for your child, make sure that you want it, too. Though many children and adults may dream of a Lassie who can do everything just right without training, there's no such animal. And neither is there justice or common sense in foisting a pet on a child and saying, as many parents do, "Now remember, he's all yours — and your responsibility. Leave me out of it." The fact is that you must be involved. The sharing of responsibility and concern for a pet will create a closer relationship with your child. One father told me that he had felt increasingly distant from his adolescent son — until the boy got a puppy for his birthday. Father and son then had something to share, and "the old man" knew a good deal about dog training.

If a child is very young, you're better off postponing bringing in a pet. Most children under the age of three tend to treat animals like stuffed toys and think nothing of picking Puppy up by a leg or grabbing Kitty by the tail. These little ones will poke, prod and tease an animal just to see what happens. Unfortunately, this detached curiosity is potentially harmful when it's applied to living creatures. Many dogs and cats seem to understand about tiny tots and tolerate a good deal of abuse from them, but others are less accepting and patient. Constant vigilance and supervision are necessary.