Get down and dirty in the garden
Herbs, essential oils and aromatherapies seem to have endless benefits. And just when you think they’ve thought of everything, someone comes out with a product that, well, knocks your pants off.
I’ve discovered, since I’ve worked here, that certain issues or subjects are difficult to discuss while maintaining a preferred level of professional decorum. Among these are the issues of the digestive tract. We’re conditioned to shy away from this subject, to become uncomfortable by it. Even in early childhood, we're encouraged to call them, “Number 1” and “Number 2.”
But, what I have noticed is that the older I get, the more comfortable the people around me feel discussing their … bathroom situations. I’m not sure what I do to encourage this toilet talk, perhaps it’s just the most notable news of the day, but for whatever reason, eventually, someone brings it up.
This is especially true of my parents, so I’m sure you can imagine the delight on my mother’s face when she presented me with her newest find: Poo~Pourri.
“Spritz the bowl before you go, and no one else will ever know!” she read from the label before she handed it to me, darting a glance in my father’s uninterested direction. “It really works, too!”
These kinds of gifts are typical of my mother, and while at first I might seem unenthused or, in this case, slightly embarrassed, ultimately the reward has … a much sweeter smell.
Reading the label, you’ll discover that the formula is a blend of citrusy essential oils that when sprayed on the surface of the water, create a barrier to trap out the odor. And, to anyone concerned with such things, they have blends that are more manly and blends that are more feminine.
Oh, and for the record, it really works.
“Poo~Pourri bathroom spray deodorizer does more than eliminate bathroom odors - it is forever changing the bathroom experience. Just picture this...Last night's buffet was the best you ever had, but today at the office, all that eating is catching up to you. As you walk out from your second visit to the restroom, you nearly collide with the handsome lad from two offices down. You both pause, staring at each other. Just then, the door shuts behind you. A rush of bathroom air fans past. "Mmmm, citrusy," he says and walks away. You pat your purse and smile -- Poo~Pourri bathroom spray deodorizer, it keeps your dirty little secret.”
While we’re on the subject, here’s one of my favorite comedy routines from Ellen DeGeneres and her experiences with airplane lavatories.
“You go to the bathroom and constantly lit [is] ‘Return to Seat’ or ‘Return to Cabin’. … Why do they think that needs to be lit? Like, if it wasn’t lit we’d relax in there for a little while? …
‘Miss, bring my peanuts in here please!’ (to herself) This is beauuuutiful.
I don’t even wanna go. I could be the only one to get up out my seat to go to the bathroom—everyone else is sound asleep when I go. I’ve been in there for what I think is 30 seconds. — you have no concept of time when you’re in there; it’s like a casino, there’s no windows, no clocks, you don’t know how long you’ve spent in there. Now, I open the door, everyone on the plane is lined up, looking at their watches, making me feel like I’ve been in there forever.
Now I’ve got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. …
Has that ever happened to you? It’s not your fault, you’ve held your breath, you just want to get out, you just wanna leave, and now you open the door …. Oh! (nervous giggle)
(uncomfortable pause, eyes darting from impatient passenger to impatient passenger)
Listen, there’s an odor in there and I didn’t do it. It’s bad. … You might want to sprinkle some club soda.”